Nightmares
by Denebola Leo
Summary: The Jenova War is over, Geostigma is cured, the world is healing...but what of our heroes? Their minds are not always resilient to the horrors and guilt that are held back in normal waking life. What do they dream about? A series of nightmare drabbles of the main cast. Cover by MarleNadia!
1. Cid

**Hallo thar! My brain decided to come up with this horrible idea while mindlessly doing work stuff. What kind of horrible, fucked up nightmares does our ragtag team cope with on occasion? I plan on hitting each member, but if there's a specific character you want me to hit up quickly go ahead and say who you're waiting for the most. At least it'll give me time to think out a drabble.**

 **I'm starting off nice and easy and then I'll fling us off into fuckedville after a few chapters. I'd think Cid/Reeve/Nanaki/Yuffie would have the least disturbing, While Cloud/Vincent/Tifa/Barret could get out of hand. In fun ways. Anyway, tell me what you think of this little experiment.**

* * *

 _Shera hasn't been cured of that damned Geostigma yet. Science so far has failed us as we look for a cure, anything that could make this fucking disease disappear off the face of the goddamned Planet. After several years of intense research by any remaining scientists they came up with fuck all yet, just a serum that delays the inevitable._

 _I've been giving Shera that shit whenever it becomes available. She tells me not to, that it's fine, but fuck if I'm gonna give up and let this sickness take her. Day by day she gets weaker, the rashes grow and ooze more, and she's in bed more days a month than up and about._

 _Every day she gets out of bed is a fucking miracle._

 _Today she's not. The white bed sheets are stained black as her infected arm advances further into the illness. She can't use it anymore at this point, and the necrosis is traveling further up her arm every fucking goddamn day. What started out as a bruise-like blemish on her hand one day a year ago has eaten up her fucking arm, and now there's some of that shit on her back._

 _A lot of people don't know how bad the advanced cases are, don't wanna know. Usually the poor bastards are stuck inside, or in some alley where no one can watch the Geostigma finish them off. The fever gets hotter,_ _ _the seizures become more violent,_ the pus runs almost constantly, the infected skin begins to slough off. That part is some of the worst shit and why I keep giving Shera that goddamn serum, because when it gets to that point they just moan constantly from the pain. I don't want Shera to be in any more pain than she already is._

 _I look her over and the skin is still peeling back here and there as I sponge bath her. It's not much just yet but I know it's gonna get worse soon. She looks me in the eye, and I gotta look away and keep bathing her, get this pus off her body, as if that'll do fuck all. Her eyes are bloodshot and gummy, but she still has that spark of life in them, like she hasn't given up hope yet. Either for herself or for others.  
_

 _I'm not gonna squash that hope in Shera, even though I know if they came up with a cure tomorrow it'd probably be too damned late for her._

 _Some blood mixed with pus weeps out of a deep crack in her skin before I bandage it up, and I can't help but wonder about any secondary infections. I'm no doctor, but fucking pus doesn't belong in your bloodstream. Especially not this shit. Shera's skin is hot to the touch as I finish wrapping her arm up. The fever just never fucking stops these days and it takes a lot of ice to manage it on the worst days. I know it's too late for her, but I keep fucking trying like a miracle will happen.  
_

 _I'm looking at her now, it's been a few days. The skin peels deeper. The rashes on her torso aren't this bad yet, but I've heard of them tearing open and finishing off the infected. They jerk too quickly or try to move a certain way, or a seizure hits them hard and out comes a fucking kidney and more. Her arm stinks from the wet necrosis, I told her and the fucking doctor it'd have to be amputated but they didn't fucking listen._

 _Shera shouldn't have gone through this. Why the fuck her? Why any-goddamn-body? I hate this shit, feeling so helpless. Was it Holy that created this? The Planet? Shitty way of saying 'thank you' to the people that saved its ass from that crazy motherfucker Sephiroth._

 _It's advancing quicker and the serum's stopped working. She's been puking up that pus at all hours now, and I've been trying to keep her from choking on it. Damn. So this is why Tifa has that faraway look in her eye now, maybe that's why Cloud ran away like a fucking pussy. Geostigma victims stop looking like living people and more like black bloating corpses as death nears. It ain't peaceful and it sure as fuck ain't pretty. I feel trapped by everything, like I've been in this room for weeks on end just watching Shera devolve into this._

 _Her dead arm drips pus and blood onto the floor. Geostigma finally got her. I tried to get her to hold on as long as she could but it wasn't fucking enough. Not for her, not for that kid Denzel, not for those orphans I've seen around Edge when I visit. The whole city smells like this goddamn room, like rot and death. The world is slowly dying and here I am holding onto a dead woman's decaying hand._

 _The world is a sick child screaming out into the universe._


	2. Reeve

_Reeve waited in the prison cell for his friends to rescue him. Scarlet and Heidegger had him thrown in here for treason after finding out his alliances with AVALANCHE, but really, could he blame them? He should have been more careful._

 _President Rufus was dead and now it was a race to become the top dog in the company. Those two were ambitious and power hungry as it was, and it would only be a matter of time before they turned on each other. One of them would share his fate, if he wasn't rescued._

 _Reeve just hoped that he could get out of here before they executed him._

 _His cell had a window. It wasn't very comforting, the view of a grimy Sister Ray humming with green etherial energy and a red ball of flaming rock aimed for the Planet, possibly for Midgar itself. Reeve couldn't help but think back about how it was partially his fault._

 _Not just the state of Midgar and the slums beneath it, but the Meteor itself. The executive knew he had a burden increasing on his shoulders with every passing day, but what else could have been done? How powerless had he truly been? He looked away from the unsettling scenery of the window and down at his shiny black shoes._

 _Was ignorance truly an excuse, he wondered to himself. His ignorance of Cloud's psychological state made all of AVALANCHE, Reeve included, puppets of Sephiroth as the former infantryman led them across the Planet as Sephiroth summoned him to the Northern Crater. His ignorance of Jenova made it impossible to deduce that they were never following Sephiroth in the first place. Why did he not go to the science department's section of the library the moment suspicion creeped into his head?_

 _He was and was not powerless, after all. He hated his situation and certainly he hated himself._

 _Reeve hated how little power he actually had, even as an executive. He hated how he kidnapped Elmyra and Marlene like a cartoon villain. He hadn't harmed them, the thought never crossed his mind, but he still used them as bargaining chips. He hated that he used Cait Sith to solve the Temple of the Ancients puzzles, giving Sephiroth what he wanted. There were other Sephiroth Copies running around but they were barely functional. It was 'just in case', just in case one was viable enough for the complex job._

 _And one was. Cait Sith helped him._

 _He especially hated his powerlessness the night President Shinra decided to drop the Sector Seven Plate. How many hundreds of thousands died from that? Before he was arrested they were still reporting on human remains and their identification to him._

 _Reeve had so many regrets swirling through his head as he sat in that gritty, ugly prison cell. It felt like it was getting smaller. The dimensions weren't right. The cinderblocks were warped. They looked like twisted metal and bones. Reeve turned away and back to the window._

 _Meteor was far closer now, blocking the sun and making the building shake. Where were his friends? Time was running out. He wondered if it would be justice done if he died like this, surely AVALANCHE didn't need him any longer. He was a spy and a traitor, they had no reason to trust him either._

 _The cell seemed so small now, and dark. Meteor's red glow was the only thing illuminating the darkness, and eventually that fell away too._

 _Worthless, helpless. That was how Reeve felt._


	3. Cloud

**Well, let's get into warnings with this one, shall we? Puppet!Cloud, major character death, torture, and so on. I hope you're all as uncomfortable reading it as I was writing it.**

* * *

 _It's always the same, tired dream._

 _Vivid, predictable, uncomfortable. But I know it's a dream. I can't control myself, so I just let it run to its conclusion. I tried fighting it so many times in the past, but what's the point? I despise it, despise how helpless I am, but I'm used to it._

 _It happens every couple of months, once a month if I'm unlucky. It's Sephiroth, torturing me in the only way he can now. But, sometimes I wonder if it's merely foreboding, as if someday he'll control me in waking reality again. No, I can't let that happen. Not again._

 _I come to in the garage. My body is walking towards the door that opens up into the bar, as always. Well, sometimes I walk in through the front door, but not this time. Tifa's there, and she smiles at me. I know its a dream, I know this isn't really Tifa, but she looks and feels so real as I walk up and give her a hug. Her silky hair smells like strawberry shampoo. Her body is so warm. I'm cringing inside because I know what's going to happen to her, what's going to happen to the kids._

 _"How was your day?" she asks me._

 _"Fine. Had a lot of deliveries." he responds with my voice. Predictable..._

 _This torture was for me to bear. Usually the sequence of events was kill Tifa, then Marlene, then Denzel. Then He would take a good look at the results of the slaughter, making sure I soaked in the imagery until I gasped awake in bed, sweaty and nauseous. Tifa would ask me if I'd like to talk about my nightmare and I would, of course, decline. Why would I tell her I butchered her like an animal in a slaughterhouse, then followed up with the kids?_

 _Maybe she would finally realize how broken and...fucked up I am._

 _Well, I can function like a normal person most days. As long as I have my family, I can make it. I've gotten this far, haven't I? Even on the bad days, which are fewer and farther between, I can count on them. Today...I feel today will be one of those bad days after this._

 _The evening is a blur. It's just there for the good feelings so he can make the pain worse. We have dinner together after the bar closes, there's conversation, smiles. He chuckles using my voice...Disgusting. I hate it when he does that. It makes what will happen all the more heart-wrenching, even if I've seen it over and over again. Even if this isn't really them._

 _Something is different, this time. As if Sephiroth found a new way to play this game. I can feel his amusement in the back of my head, and for the first time in a long while in this nightmare, I'm nervous. I'm taken to the garage to collect my swords. I look them over, the cold, sharp edges ready to do the unthinkable. I wish I could look away._

 _The door behind me opens up and my head turns; it's...Denzel. He has this big smile on his face...He looks at the mess of swords on my back and the one in my hand, and walks over to look at them._

 _Just run, please. Please._

 _My head swivels towards the materia box, then back to Denzel. "Hey. Could you get Marlene? I wanna show you two some materia before bed."_

 _Denzel looks excited. When is he not excited about materia, or me? What are you planning, Sephiroth..._

 _Denzel leaves as my fingers wrap around two materia. A green one and a blue one. I know which ones they are. He chuckles, lower than my usual laugh. "You never told me what you cherish most, Cloud. But I figured it out. I figured it out a long time ago."_

 _My family. I cherish my family the most. I cherish them so very much. Everything they do for me, every time they put up with me...I love them more than anyone would know. And Sephiroth wants the pleasure of taking them away, over and over again._

 _"I think we should make it a little more interesting this time, don't you think, puppet?"_

 _I hate my voice in my dreams._

 _The children enter the garage, all smiles. Please, just run. Wake up, wake up wake up wake up-_

 _My hand is lifted up and they fall asleep in a pile. Next, their arms are tied behind their backs. Please just wake up, Strife..._

 _This body I watch through walks out and up the stairs towards the master bedroom. It's as warm and inviting as it is in the waking world. The lamps shine a low, golden light that spills over the room. Tifa is sitting in bed, reading a book. Her head slants upwards, a brow raised as he enters. She's smiling, but also curious. Usually I'm not in my black outfit at this hour. Usually I don't have my swords on my back._

 _My eyes follow hers to the swords, then back to her. My shoulders shrug. "Was showing them off to Denzel."_

 _"Oh. Did you put the kids to bed?"_

 _My head bobs in a nod. "Yeah."_

 _She nods back and rubs the empty space next to her, the blue and white quilt looks so inviting. I'm in that spot, dreaming. I'm dreaming. This is just revenge fantasy for a psychopathic monster. Please just wake up..._

 _"Time for bed, huh?" he says._

 _My arm goes up and Tifa falls asleep. It's all far too easy, every time. But this time is different as Tifa is taken downstairs to the basement and tied up. Usually she's gutted behind the bar after some sweet talk, then I go upstairs and finish off the kids. It's brutal but it's usually, mercifully, quick. I guess Sephiroth can't have that._

 _I need to learn to take control. I can't stand this. What will he make me do this time?_

 _Tifa's arms are behind her back and her legs are tied and tucked beneath her. A rag gags her mouth. I feel sick to my stomach. What does he plan to do? He's laughing, using my voice again. Tifa is propped against the wall. My body turns, and the children are on the concrete floor in front of Fenrir._

 _They're still asleep. I feel Sephiroth appraising them. "Which one should go first, puppet? The sweet little girl, or the boy that idolizes you?" Slowly, he points at Marlene. "I think both Tifa and Denzel should see what a monster you can be sometimes, puppet."_

 _Why can't I wake up?_

 _He takes Denzel and places him next to Tifa, then gags him. Next he holds up Marlene by her dress collar and takes out one of the longer, thinner swords. My eyes look over her, finally resting on her pink bow. Then the laughter began again. "She looks familiar."_

 _No._

 _Not this._

 _Gently he puts her on her knees. We don't have to wait long for Tifa to stir, and all the while I'm struggling. I almost feel it, the world shifting just a little bit, but then everything becomes vivid again. Tifa's blinking her eyes, and soon they widen in a panic as she looks about, yelling into her gag, then fixes onto me. Then Marlene._

 _She's barely awake and Denzel is slowly waking up too. I'm still trying to resist him, I don't want to see this. I know it's not real but I don't want to see this. Marlene wakes up just enough to sit up without a hand grasping her dress, and she's released. I hear her huff into her gag. My eyes travel to Tifa, and...He forms a smirk on my face. She's pleading with her eyes. She's asking why with those eyes._

 _He says nothing as he raises my blade up, holding it in two hands. I'm fighting back as hard as I can, and he pauses. I feel a flicker of anger from him, I'm interfering. I did it last time, you bastard. Even if it came to nothing in the end._

 _The sword twitches and then plunges down, into Marlene. In the exact same way as her. Tifa's screaming, Denzel's screaming, I'm screaming inside. She's still alive, but not for long. The blade comes out, slowly, and she topples to the concrete. The blood slowly pools around her little body and he won't let me look away as the last bit of life flows out of this Dream Marlene. My eyes slowly move to Denzel._

 _He's horrified, enraged, scared, sad...All the things I was when Sephiroth burnt down Nibelheim, when Sephiroth killed Aerith...Is this what you wanted to torture me with? I struggle more. I can't stand this and he knows it._

 _Wake. Up. Now._

 _With my hand Sephiroth drags Denzel onto Marlene. He's on his back, his belly exposed. I want to turn away, I want my hands to stop doing what I don't want them to do. I can hear Sephiroth laughing in my head as the sword comes down in a swipe._

 _There's so many noises. Wet, metal on flesh noises. I can't stand what I see, I can't stand what I smell, I can't stand what I hear. Sephiroth won't stop, he's taken out another sword and he's smiling with my lips as I continue to struggle. Again I break through, even if it was too late. I'm frozen there, my grip loosening on my swords. I don't want to see them today after this..._

 _Sephiroth doesn't like this at all. I can feel him pushing back. "Tifa, I can't-"_

 _I'm cut off, and he's back in control. There's a small bit of satisfaction that came from pissing him off. I'm sure he'll make me pay for that later. Right now. My eyes go to Tifa, I'm sure I'm glowering as I stand over two mutilated corpses. My footsteps are slow and my boots stick to the ground a little from the blood on the bottom, making a sickly sound._

 _I'm crouching down, looking into Tifa's teary, ruby eyes. She tries to look away, her nose flaring as she takes deep breaths. My sword's blade comes to her cheek so very gently and pushes her to face me, to look into my eyes. He kisses her cheek with my lips. Can she tell I'm not in control? Does it matter? It's not Tifa. It's a dream. A dream that feels too real for its own good._

 _I should be used to this._

 _I'm standing up again, my eyes never leaving her. Sephiroth trails the tip of one of my swords over her chest, stopping at the beginning of her scar. The one Sephiroth gave her years ago. The point of the blade is being dug slowly into that scar tissue, and she cries out in pain through her gag. I know how sensitive it is._

 _The sword is taken away, and then a moment that felt like forever as the blade is hung over her, as if he was unsure he wanted to go this route or another. In the end he swipes low and deep and swiftly, and it's like that day in Nibelheim again. There's blood everywhere, her chest cavity is again exposed, and her skin pales so very quickly. Tifa's losing consciousness from the pain, but the look she gives me before going limp cuts into my soul._

 _It's just a dream. None of this is real. She's next to me in bed, the kids are in their room asleep._

 _"Do you really think I'll only be a memory?" he says. "Someday I will be back. This is just practice." He stabs my sword through her chest casually, then wiggles it out playfully.  
_

 _I'll never let him do this, not with my body or with his own if he can conjure one up again. I struggle again and I feel a little control come back. He laughs menacingly. "Too late this time, puppet."_

 _The sound of his laughter multiplies and grows louder in my head as the garage begins to fade into darkness, driving me ever closer to the brink of madness after seeing all I'd seen._

 _Yep. It's going to be one of those days._


	4. Yuffie

**I decided to save the discomfort of what I had in store for another chapter, and went with this instead. After last chapter I think this would be a bit less intense but still hurtful.**

* * *

 _"You're such a pain in the ass, Yuffie." Cloud spat. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he was scowling at her like she was filth beneath his shoe. "How many times are you gonna 'misplace' my delivery receipts?"_

 _Tifa had her fists on her hips. "How could you be such a thoughtless girl? That Corel wine batch is ruined!" she snarled._

 _"I-I'm not. I didn't-"_

 _"When're you gonna ever stop actin' like a damn kid with yo shiny rocks?!" Barret boomed at the anxious ninja, who looked his way. She hadn't remembered stealing materia in a while._

 _Nanaki growled behind her. "You never stop flicking my nose and choking my neck for fun. What kind of a friend are you?"_

 _"It wasn't like-"_

 _"God damn it, how many times are we gonna have to bail ya the fuck outta trouble? I swear you can be fuckin' useless, Yuffie."_

 _Reeve groaned as he held a paper in his hand. "This intelligence report is completely useless to me."_

 _"Everything you asked for is on that paper!"_

 _"I've told you countless times, Yuffie. Stop calling me." Vincent sighed out._

 _Yuffie bit her lip in frustration. Yes, she could admit she could be a major pain sometimes. But who wasn't in the group? They had all screwed up somewhere and in worse ways than she. It just hurt a lot more than she let on when they were mean to her._

 _Which wasn't often. Even if she deserved it. Maybe she didn't say she was sorry as much as she should. Maybe she did screw up little things here and there, but she never meant to. Yuffie wanted them to be proud of her, the princess of Wutai. They were her friends and, even though she had some by blood in Wutai, they were her family._

 _The group walked away from her, to do whatever it was they were planning on doing without her. Where were they, anyway? It was white and foggy. One by one they disappeared into the mist until she was left alone. Yuffie looked about, then headed towards them. She couldn't lose them, she would be lost in the mists without them._

 _She ran into Vincent first, in a forest. Her hand came to his and he pulled away as he looked back at her, his red eyes colder than usual. "Why must you pester me? What have I done to deserve this?"_

 _"Uh, who else is gonna bother your boring ass?" Yuffie put her hands on her hips. "Everyone needs company, especially a guy who napped in a coffin for like, thirty years."_

 _Vincent sighed and looked away. "I don't need you to entertain me." He began to walk away. "Go away, Yuffie."_

 _She followed. "What if I don't wanna go away?" she asked defiantly. "Vinny?"_

 _"Leave." The forest seemed to close in around Vincent, the last thing seen of him was his red cape. Yuffie stopped at the wall of branches and bramble and stared at it for what seemed like forever, before turning around-_

 _Now she was at Cid's house. The pilot was smoking a cigarette and downing his tea while cursing about some missing paper. "Fuck, did you steal my damn blueprints, kid?"_

 _Yuffie shook her head, an angry expression on her face. "What would I possibly do with blueprints, you old coot?"_

 _Cid slapped the small of stack of papers down on the table. "The fuck should I know, you're a kleptomaniac. Maybe you gotta god damn nest of shit people needed but can't seem to find."_

 _"I am not a klepto, and I don't have a nest! I'm not a rat!" Maybe she likes to collect materia, but useless papers? Her room had enough useless junk that she bought with her own gil, she thought._

 _He sat up from his chair and huffed off to his tinkering room, Yuffie taking off towards him. He shut the door before she could enter. "Will you get the hell outta here before more shit goes missing?!"_

 _Yuffie growled at the door but her heart was sinking. "Fine! I don't need to waste my time with a cranky old man like you!" She spun around to a field of jade grass billowing in the wind, hills and mountains far in the distance. Her eyes locked onto a red shape bounding through the field, and she ran over to it._

 _Nanaki pulled his ears back. "What is it, Yuffie?"_

 _She put her hands up and rolled her eyes. "Easy there, Furball. Wanna look for materia with me again?"_

 _He growled as he shook his head. "You'll just use me as your mount again."_

 _Yuffie stomped her foot, he was being totally unfair. "You offered! We were lookin' for a materia to stop Geostigma, remember?"_

 _"It's cured, so why do you wish to continue this journey? Just because of your lust for shiny things?"_

 _Because I want to spend time with you was the answer in her head. "...You didn't have fun exploring the Planet with me?"_

 _Nanaki huffed before beginning his trot again. "On the rare occasions I wasn't being poked and flicked and used."_

 _Yuffie watched as he disappeared into the high grass, feeling alone again. Her eyes traveled downwards to look at the blades of grass at her feet. The sound of clinking glass and conversation caused her to look up._

 _She was in Seventh Heaven, and Tifa was busily working on drinks and food for customers. Yuffie walked to the counter, and Tifa gave a quick scowl before returning to her work._

 _"Do you need some help, Tifa?"_

 _Tifa scoffed. "Last time you spilled six beers on a table. I think I'll be fine."_

 _"You don't look fine." Yuffie said meekly._

 _Tifa turned away. "No, but better off without your help."_

 _Yuffie stood there pouting for a moment. She didn't have it in her to argue with Tifa. She used to be so nice, even saying of all things that she was an ideal child, cheery and strong._

 _She didn't feel cheery and strong right now._

 _Barret was next to her in Junon, with Reeve. They were glaring at her sternly, arms crossed. "Yuffie, you were supposed to get intel on that rebel group that sabotaged Barret's oil field. We can't advance let alone hold civilization together without a steady energy source." Reeve said, irritated._

 _"I lost five men yesterday 'cause of that new group!" Barret boomed._

 _"I guess the irony is lost on you, huh big guy?!"_

 _He pointed a finger at the ninja. "Don't you even go there, princess."_

 _Reeve heaved a sigh through his hands. "Forget it. I'll get someone more competent on this."_

 _Yuffie squeezed her fists and clenched her teeth. "I am competent! These things take time, especially when they hide like rats in the countryside!"_

 _"No, Yuffie. You can't ride Fenrir with me."_

 _She turned around to Cloud, the spiky haired experiment-turned-courier glaring at her with a tired expression marring his face. "Why not?"_

 _"You wiggle and yell too much."_

 _Yuffie looked around and noticed she was in the Midgar Wastes, the dusty landscape barren of most life for miles around. "But how am I gonna get to Edge?" she asked weakly._

 _He shrugged. "You have two legs. I just want some peace and quiet, Yuffie. I don't need you destroying my office or giving the kids tons of candy."_

 _"...You act like I'm a pest."_

 _Cloud put on his goggles. "You kind of are. Between my office and all the screw ups in the bar, it'd be easier dealing with a rat infestation."_

 _"That-that's not fair." her voice was finally cracking. Cloud and Tifa always treated her like a younger sibling. She felt like a gravity spell was placed on her chest. Yuffie looked down and closed her eyes. "What about all the times I babysat when you two wanted to go out, or that time Tifa was so busy and...and you weren't around! We got through that night easy!" She shuddered. "Or the time I helped Cid put together his stupid invention, or when Barret needed help picking out a dress for Marlene, or Reeve needed a pep talk!"_

 _Yuffie took in a sharp breath and continued. "What about when Nanaki needed help with cleaning up Geostigma children in Cosmo Canyon? Or when I got that dragon's attention off Vincent? Huh? I'm not a screw up!"_

 _She opened her eyes to total darkness. There was no one here with her. "I'm not a useless pest..."_

 _"Please, someone be with me. We're friends..."_


	5. Nanaki

**A/N: Nope, didn't forget about this. My grandmother just passed, and it...kinda helped me push through the rest of this chapter.  
**

* * *

 _My nightmares always start pleasant, but a growing unease comes into them that lasts in the waking world. It is because they are yet to pass._

 _I am not seeing the future, not quite. But I am seeing what will happen to my friends, my two-legged family: They will age, then they will die. I will live for centuries while they will be lucky to see eighty years. I will watch them, and their children, and their children's-children die._

 _It's not fair._

 _I know I did this to myself. I didn't have to bond with them. But I did and now it will plague me the rest of my days. I will have them for only a blip of my life! They will die when I reach near my prime centuries. And I know that no matter how many decades pass that hole will be in my heart until I return to the Lifestream, until I become one with them._

 _I'm in Wutai, and Yuffie is complaining about her knee. She's still relatively young, but I can see the signs of aging. Very fine and hard to see at first glance. She's still strong but not quite as obnoxious. Yuffie is the ruler of Wutai now, and I can see the sadness in her eyes. She isn't ready to settle down, she wasn't done traveling._

 _We travel together so much..._

 _"Hey Red, where've ya been?" she asks me._

 _I want to tell her not to call me that, but the words are stuck in my throat. "Traveling as usual."_

 _"Hm." She shifts on her knees, resting in the Great Pagoda. "Y'know, I miss traveling with you. When I have some time, maybe we could go out." Her eyes lit up. "We could visit everyone!"_

 _I nod. I feel anxiety creeping within me as I look up into the upbeat grin of hers. Ah, that glint in her eyes never changes._

 _"Cid is getting up there in years."_

 _"Mm, so is Barret."_

 _Cloud and Tifa. I'm in the bar. It's always the bar, as if they will do these jobs until they retire. They're in their fifties. They look happy, even as they talk about our friends aging and their children and grandchildren._

 _They both have trails of greying hair on their heads. Cloud's is pale yellow on the sides, his hair not quite as spiky as in the past. Tifa's hair is still long and dark, but silver scintillates within like thin moonbeams on a dark night. They turn to me, and I notice the lines at the corner of their still vibrant eyes and at the corners of their mouths. They're wearing greys and dark browns._

 _I would say they aged rather gracefully, as humans go._

 _"Hey, Nanaki!" Tifa comes over and puts a hand on my shoulder. "Did you come to see the grandkids? You're a little early."_

 _"Yes..." I say weakly. Grandkids. The beginning of the end of their lives. They look happy, but...I am not. Loneliness creeps into my chest again, even as Cloud comes to greet me._

 _"They'll be here soon. Hey, I'll take you to the guest room and get you set up." Cloud motions towards the back of the bar, and we walk off to the room. It's still well taken care of, and I hop onto the soft bed that had been there for decades._

 _Cloud sits on the bed next to me. "You look like you're starting to fill in, Nanaki."_

 _I look at my paws. I feel a bit more muscly. "I'm still...young."_

 _He snorts with amusement and wraps his arm around my shoulder blades. "Yeah, I guess you are." Cloud looks at me with a crooked grin on his face. "Sorry, I couldn't wait to grow old. You're goin' too slow."_

 _I want to laugh but I cannot. We will leave each other in a short few decades. They aged so fast, and I am so young..._

 _"Are you alright?"_

 _It's Reeve. He's so old. I'm sitting next to him as he fumbles with something on Cait Sith's back. He's grey haired and wrinkled, but not exactly wizened. "I'm fine, Reeve. Sorry I cannot help you."_

 _He chuckles weakly, then lets out a little cough as he covers his mouth with an arm. "If only you knew the joys of opposable thumbs, Nanaki." Something clicked on the robot, and his dark eyes lit up. "Ah, finally."_

 _"What Cait Sith are you on now?"_

 _Reeve shrugged. "I lost count. Can you keep this one safe for me?"_

 _I cock my head. "Keep it safe?" Is it for me?_

 _He nodded. "Don't activate it until...well, you'll know when to do it. Keep it in Cosmo Canyon." He pats my shoulder with a small smile._

 _I look down for a moment, then up. Cid is showing...I suppose its his grandchild, some blueprints. He's still smoking and swearing at this age. How did he live this long, chain smoking? Humans..._

 _He looks up and waves, then gets a cane to lift himself up and haul himself towards my position. "Shit, thought you forgot about me Nanaki! How's it goin'?"_

 _I wince. "I'd never forget about you, Cid." I wouldn't. I won't. I won't forget any of them._

 _He laughs and gently punches my shoulder. Always my shoulder. I'd like a hug, I think. "I know. You youngsters just like to get around."_

 _Us youngsters just like to get around. Just...I am Nanaki, son of Seto. I do not fear the inevitable. I do not fear...it._

 _Even now I feel Gilligan tugging at my heart._

 _I hear Marlene sniffling next to me. There's a big wooden box and a lump in my throat. So that's how Barret died. He looks...too still. He should be thumping his chest or shouting at...anyone. Especially Cloud or Yuffie. Ah, they're a bit older now. Everyone is, except Vincent._

 _"Good night, Barret." Cloud puts his wrinkled hand over Barret's chest as he whispers his farewell._

 _Cid sighs. "We'll meet on the other side, man. I'm sure my ass is next."_

 _Reeve shakes his head and huffs. "I'll race you there."_

 _"No. I...Don't joke about this, please." I'm grimacing up at them, and they look back with quizzical looks on their faces. "I'm not ready for this."_

 _"Nanaki, you knew we'd grow old and die one day," Tifa says gently. "Whether you were ready for it or not, it's the beginning of the end for us."_

 _I shake my head. Loss is what I fear. "What you all mean to me...It's so hard for me to put in to words..." I choke out._

 _I don't notice it right away, but there's a weight pressed upon me. Old arms wrap around my neck and I stop breathing for just a moment. It's Yuffie. "Y'know Red, every year that voice gets a little louder, calling us back._

 _"After I'm gone," she whispers into my ear, "please recall what I say. I believe in you, and all that you'll do."_

 _"We are the only ones left."_

 _I'm in the Midgar Ruins. In the crumbling church. There's more flowers, and vines grow on the pillars. Vincent is on the only pew not rotted away by now. He's watching me with that look of his, the one that hides the same turmoil churning inside me. I come to him._

 _"The last of AVALANCHE..." How does he feel? My friends, my dear friends, were like house cats or dogs in longevity to me. And their loss...hurts in this dream. I know this is a dream. I know it is the future. The dream is being swept away, and I wonder about Vincent and the loneliness he will feel, too._

 _I must journey again. I must visit my friends, my family. I miss them already._


	6. Tifa

_The room was rank with the stench of wet metal and some sort of bitter scent Tifa was none too familiar with. The clacking of expensive dress shoes came from behind her as Scarlet followed. Tifa was shoved harshly, then a Shinra grunt grabbed her wrists and began to untie them. Two sets of hands held her arms as she was forcefully seated upon the execution chair, then cold metal clamps held them down._

 _She felt so weak._

 _After a week long coma, Tifa was weak, tired, and her optimism was running dry. Cloud was gone, and she didn't know if she had truly known him or not. No, she had to have known him. But Sephiroth had said he was a flesh puppet, created by Hojo...It had to be a lie! But did it matter now?_

 _"Stuck up to the end, I see."_

 _Tifa's ruby eyes glared up at Scarlet. She was a vicious red dragon with a crown of ugly yellow horns, her snake-like tongue flicking out of her mouth ever so often. How she could stick her clawed feet into high heels, Tifa would never know. Scarlet sneered. "You've been a very naughty bitch, Tifa."_

 _The MP on the other side of her chuckled. When Tifa turned her head to look at him, there was a glimmer of green where his eyes would be. She shifted her behind on the hard, metal surface it sat on and swallowed. Her eyes drifted towards the stain-spotted floor._

 _Scarlet gripped her jaw and forced her to look into her sickly, topaz colored eyes. "You deserve this."_

 _Tifa felt herself shaking, not in fear of Scarlet, but from the truth of her words. She had gone too far in her quest for revenge against Shinra. She had gone about it the wrong way. How many died because of her? On top of that, she failed Cloud. Tifa pulled away from the dragon's grip. "Go away," she croaked._

 _"I'll never go away." Scarlet turned away from Tifa, her hips and tail swaying as she walked towards the far wall. "No matter what befalls you, it will never be enough after what you've done."_

 _"You could have told me the truth," said the MP. "You could have told me I wasn't in Nibelheim."_

 _Tifa's burgundy eyes fixated on the blue-clad grunt. He pulled off his helmet to reveal a worse for wear Cloud. His eyes were green and cat like. Half coagulated gashes and cuts marred his usually handsome face. She was pretty sure his nose was broken, but all the blood made it hard to really tell. His cut up lips formed a thin line._

 _"I didn't know, Cloud!" Tifa struggled against her bindings. "I didn't know what to do..."_

 _"Because of you, countless died at my hands. But at least Barret and the others lived to see another day," he said coolly. "Not that it really matters now."_

 _He leaned his hand against the wall, his gloved finger gently grazing one of the gas pipes. "Would Meteor have even happened if you had told me the truth? Why did you get to survive, where others didn't?"_

 _"Why did you get to enjoy life, while others toiled in misery?"_

 _Tifa just wanted to be washed away at this point. Meteor hung over the sky and the air smelled of ash from a thousand pyres. What had she done?_

 _It had been her fault._


End file.
